Complicated
by Lady Cassandra
Summary: When Dizzy does something, it's not usually something that can be easily understood. She rejected Rico when he told her he loved her, but she cried about it later! Wasn't that weird? This fic replays her thoughts to find out why she's so... complicated.


The first part of this story takes place during the "Hide-and-Seek" episode, specifically when Diz falls off that mound thing, and Rico goes to save her. The last part takes place when they talk at the end, at the base. Hope you like it. Oh yeah, happy reading!!!!! ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters or places mentioned in this story are mine. The song "Complicated" doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Caroline Dawn-Johnson. In fact, nothing is mine except the story idea. Speaking of the story, why are you reading this instead of it? Go on, it's down there!  
  
  
Complicated  
Part 1?  
  
  
"Dizzy, I love you."  
  
I'm so scared that the way that I feel   
Is written all over my face  
When you walk into the room  
I wanna find a hidin' place  
  
What did he just say?! Does he really.... Nah, he's just on another one of his "A.C's...After Carmen. He just wants someone that he can show off to make Carmen jealous, and then when he sees that won't work he'll just drop the poor girl off somewhere and she'll be just like yesterday's newspaper, used and faded, not of any use to him anymore. No sir, that poor girl would in no way be a Flores. We were too smart for that, espically me.  
  
We used to laugh, we used to hug  
The way that old friends do  
But now a smile and a touch of your hand  
Just makes me come unglued  
  
Why couldn't things be the way they used to be? Why did all this start to happen now? All what? This was no big deal. I had done this plenty of times before. Just take a deep breath, and tell him that you're sorry, but you just don't feel the same way, that you could never see him as more than a good friend.   
  
I opened my mouth, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't force out the words. He looked at me like I was the most wonderful thing in the world, in the universe even. His eyes shone, no, burned with all the emotions he had unknowingly contained for so long. I looked at his face, stared and marveled at how handsome he was, something I had never been able to do while being this close before, and I couldn't speak. Even though I knew exactly what I should say, and the words were on the tip of my tounge, I just couldn't tell him a... lie.   
  
We were carried up the rest of the mound in two very different kinds of silence. Mine was shocked, and his could best be classified as anxious, wanting, no, needing to know what I would say.  
  
It's such a contridiction  
Should I lie or tell the truth?  
Is it fact or fiction  
Oh, the way I feel for you  
  
It's so complicated  
I'm so frustrated  
  
I wanna hold you close  
I wanna push you away  
I wanna make you go  
I wanna make you stay  
  
Should I say yes?  
Should I tell you how I feel?   
Oh I want you to know  
But then again I don't  
  
It's so complicated  
  
I watched him walk away from the edge of the mound as the others helped me up. He was definatley embarassed, that I could tell for sure by the blush that crept up his gorgeous features. I knew he would try again, though, he never could give up until something was absolutely finished. I'd tell him then. I'd tell him everything. I was a Flores, and I wasn't afraid of anything! Um, right?  
  
Just when I think I'm under control  
I think I've finally got a grip  
Another friend tells me that  
My name is always on your lips  
  
Carl had told me everything. He told me things Johnny only discussed with him in the dead of night, and only then because he trusted him so much. Carl had told me that he never tired of speaking of me, much more and better than he had ever spoken of Carmen. He said that he throws silent compliments at me all day, and that his thoughts are so strong and so loud that he can't help but hear them. I smiled at this, because I knew Carl was half-joking. Only half, though. He would never search someone's mind without their permission or a very strong (or very deadly) reason. It made me think, though, and I got the least amount of sleep I had ever had that night.  
  
They say I'm more than just a friend  
They say I must be blind  
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me   
From the corner of your eye  
  
They all prodded me for hours, Carl, Higgins, Goss, Doc, T'phi, and even Brutto. They said I should tell him something, anything, but preferrably the truth. The fact that I liked, no, loved, him. I reluctantly promised them I would, but it turned out that Johnny was one step ahead of me.  
  
Oh, it's so confusing  
Yeah, you wish I'd just confess  
But think of what I'd be losing   
If my answer wasn't yes  
  
I was walking in line, when he called for me to wait up. I sighed and stepped out of the line. It's now or never. I just hope that my mind thinks *NOW* so hard that my lips get the message and get rid of that *NEVER* they've been holding on to for so long. Here he comes.... SPEAK! I commanded myself. Stop staring and speak!  
  
"Yeah, what?"  
  
Was that me? I tried to make it sound concerned, but it came out as more of an annoyed... thing. He wasn't daunted, though, and he kept going. That was another thing you could say he had going for himself, his unwavering determination.  
  
"Don't you think we need to talk?" He asked softly.  
  
Don't lose control. Think before you speak. Tell him what you had practiced in your head so many times in high school, in basic with Zim, at night in your bunk. Tell him! TELL HIM!!!  
  
"About what? Oh yeah," I said like I had just remembered, "About you being in love with me. Well, you can't be!"  
  
Damn! What was that? Why did I do that? O.k, I can do this. I can't take away what I've already said, but I can tell him the truth. It's for love, the greatest thing in the universe, right? Then why, if it's for such a wonderful cause, is it so hard to do?!  
  
Should I say yes?  
Should I tell you how I feel?   
Oh I want you to know  
But then again I don't  
  
It's so complicated  
I hate it   
'Cause I've waited   
So long for someone like you  
  
Oh what do I do?  
  
"But why.." He started, the slightest bit of confusion and doubt beginning to dim the bright light of hope in his eyes.  
  
"Anyone who I thought I cared about is gone! Want a list? My parents, gone! Thought I had feelings for Carl? Surprise! He got his brain fried. Zander, he turned into a bug. I'm a jynx, Rico!  
  
I was raving like a loonie and I knew it. I just couldn't get the right words out. I struggled against it as fiercely as I could, but it seemed those words were meant to be said, and nothing I did could stop them.  
  
"There's one flaw in your plan, Dizzy," He went on, still undaunted. I just wanted to crawl into a corner and stay there for the rest of eternity, before I could hurt him. I wanted for all the world to run, to tear out of there like a cheetah, taking myself as far away from him as possible, but he had other ideas.  
  
"Yeah, and what's that?!" I asked him, almost hysterical and yet not showing it one bit. Why wouldn't he just get the hell out of my way?  
  
"Me," He said confidently, "You love me and I'm still here."  
  
"Well, I guess I don't love you anymore."   
  
Why couldn't I say it! I couldn't be scared! A Flores wasn't scared of anything!  
  
"Diz, I'm not just going to let you run away."  
  
Damn, how did he know?  
  
"You can't get rid of me that easily," He said with a lop-sided grin that made my heart melt. Well, almost melt. More like defrost a little.  
  
Should I say yes?   
Should I tell you how I feel?  
Oh I want you to know  
But then again I don't   
  
"Sir," I said, for once not using his name at all, a sign of non-friendliness in the tenth degree. "You're higher rank than me. Central wouldn't approve of this."  
  
His face suddenly went to stone. I couldn't see any emotion except for a rapidly growing contempt for....me. I suddenly couldn't believe what I had said, even though it seemed so right a few moments before, now it seemed all wrong. I wanted to take it back, but before I could speak he looked me straight in the eyes and said the worst thing I had heard since I got the letter saying my parents were dead and Eddie was MIA.  
  
"I'm sorry I stepped out of line private." He said in a voice that perfectly matched his face, "I can assure you, it won't happen again." And with that he walked off.  
  
I felt the tears pouring down my face before I knew they had begun to fall. Even though he couldn't hear me, I whispered softly into the wind, perhaps in hopes my words would be taken to him, I didn't know then and I don't know now, "Rico, wait!"  
  
It's so complicated  
  
Complicated  
  
  
So, what'd you think? Do you want a sequel? I was thinking of making one, but you need to tell me for sure. Huh? What was that? Speak up, I can't hear you! Oh, this will never work. Hey, wait a minute, what's the blue box down there for? You can tell me what you think through it? Well, what'll they think of next? More importantly, what will YOU think of next? What? I told you, I can't hear you! Just put what you wanted to say down in the little blue box, and press that button. I really want to know what you think! Should I keep writing for this catagory, or am I just spoiling it for the rest of you? I need to know!!!!! 


End file.
